What is a “grievance” anyway? ⚖️

Wow, this is a super humbling topic.

(and, it’s also quite illuminating and life-changing! Let’s go.)

When you hear the term “grievance”, do you feel that it applies to you?

Do you feel like you’re holding any grievances at this very moment?

If you’re like me, you probably connect the meaning of grievance to a grudge, or a lack of forgiveness.

But check this out:

I recently read in “A Course in Miracles” that a grievance can be defined, quite simply, as a belief that something should be different than it is.


In other words, anytime I feel that someone should have done something differently, or something should have been said or portrayed or expressed differently, or life should have had a different outcome than it actually did…

 is a grievance.

This is a major wakeup call for me, how about you?

Because this means that I am walking around experiencing life as a nearly constant stream of grievances.

I’m also coming to understand that “grievances” are a bit of an umbrella term…

Doubt, judgement, criticism, loathing, contempt, guilt and shame (whether directed inward toward ourself or outward toward others) are all types of grievances. 
They all fit beneath the umbrella.

Strangely, there is something clarifying about this for me. It explains quite well why all of those above listed expressions feel so incredibly awful in our body, our mind, our heart and our spirit.

It also explains why they block goodness from entering.

Here is another thing i’ve learned from ACIM that is a total game-changer:

You can have a grievance, or you can have a miracle. You cannot have both.

A miracle is simply defined here as a change in perception from fear-based thinking to love-based thinking.

Isn’t that incredible?
That nothing other than our perception needs to change in order to call a miracle into our lives!
But it’s not possible if we are choosing the grievance.

So, my friend, this is the responsibility that confronts us. This is also a rich opportunity to increase our awareness of what we are carrying with us as we live out our lives. If we don’t know we have unresolved grievances, how can we seek healing, compassion, forgiveness and open-heartedness?

As I often like to say, awareness is the first step to transformation!

Here’s a little exercise to put this into practice, should you feel called:

  1. Grab a piece of paper, and take stock over the last 1-2 weeks.
  2. Write down any situation that comes to mind where you are believing it should have been different.
  3. Soften your heart, relax your face, and admit to yourself that this is a grievance.
  4. Remind yourself that you can have a miracle (a change in perception) or a grievance, but not both.
  5. If you are more inclined toward a miracle (I hope you are!), ask yourself this question: “How can I see this situation differently?” Do some journaling to explore.
  6. If all else fails and you can’t come up with any alternative perspectives on this situation, you can simply state out loud, “I am willing to see this situation differently.” Close your eyes and repeat until you truly mean it.

I hope this is helpful, dear one!

This isn’t exactly light stuff… but these days, I’m actually training myself to get really excited when I identify where I’ve been stuck in shadow, blame and victim mentality. Because clarity and awareness can lead to a different choice, a different perspective, and a miracle!

Are you ready to embrace your willingness + ability to show up? Sign up below for your FREE Courageous Communication 7-day mini course!

Wishing you a blessed springtime.

May we look to the flowers… they know what to do.
They simply turn toward the light, and grow!
🌿 🌷 🌸 🌹 🌺 🌼 🌿


May miracles abound,