A vignette on boundaries.
We might be tempted to squeeze a bunch of extra projects onto our calendar in order to check off our goals… even though our schedule is already packed.
We might find ourselves at a holiday table sharing a meal with family members who trigger us… but we’re determined to stay open and connect.
It’s autumn, a time of release, letting go, making decisions and saying no… so we can focus our monkey mind (!) on what matters most.
In honor of maintaining health in our body, self-worth and relationships, here’s a smattering of contemplations, quotes and recommendations for good sturdy boundaries this season and beyond.
1. My wise friend Alexis Davis nailed it with this truth bomb.
I invite you to re-read this at least 3 times and let it sink in:
There is no such thing as dishonoring yourself while honoring others.
There is only honoring self and honoring other,
or dishonoring self and dishonoring other.
2. Prentis Hemphill’s often-cited quote is good no matter how many times you’ve read it.
"Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously. Boundaries give us the space to do the work of loving ourselves. They might be, actually, the first and fundamental expression of self-love."
3. The Rose shows us how it’s done.
Take this in:
A rose opens fully, in all her irrepressible glory, revealing tender petals and a sensual beauty that has literally intoxicated the globe for generations—and all the while, she is simultaneously guarded by clear, sharp thorns.
Takeaway: We do not need to close or contract in order to hold strong, healthy boundaries. We can stay open and protect ourselves at the same time.
4. Black eagle holds the boundary line.
I’ve recently been practicing a qigong form called “Black Eagle” which I learned from my teacher Brea Fisher—she has this to say about it:
Black Eagle is a guardian ally who teaches us how to stand up for what we hold dear, sacred, and precious. They’re the ones who remain perched at the very threshold to one’s inner sanctuary, holding wings taught and precise like a great portal protected as the boundary that marks what is holy within.
Watch Brea moving through Black Eagle here.
5. The 2026 Annual Planning Challenge can help.
Each year when I do my annual plan, I get to reassess and re-establish what boundaries and limitations are needed. For example: I block a day off after traveling to recuperate, I schedule monthly Life Date Check-ins with my husband, I schedule weekly money dates with myself, and I let the seasons shape my creative projects. I also decide on an annual theme to guide me through the year and set up to 5 x goals or central intentions to focus on, which then impact my quarterly goals. This is the kind of magic we get up to in Annual Planning for Bewildered Humans! We meet Dec 11-19th live. Join us!
6. Many paths to God. Many paths to Boundaries.
Earlier this year, I recorded this 90-min workshop called Better Boundaries, in which I share a number of different entry points for becoming a more masterful keeper of your own boundaries and protection. There is something for everyone in this workshop, and it’s only $44. Go pick it up today! Use the Kajabi app to access it and you can listen in your car, at the gym, on a walk or in the bath with ease. I promise you’ll feel inspired and come away with at least one new tool to clear your space, protect your energy and improve your boundaries.
7. Guardians and Protectors! on The Emerald
I’ve listened to this incendiary podcast episode at least 3 times. I’m sure more listens are in my future. I found it provocative, insightful and illuminating. If you’ve not yet heard it, go forth. If you've already heard it, go for round two.
8. Stop reacting. Start responding.
If you’ve been wanting to do some 1-1 work together, check out my new 6-session package, Reactivity Reset. Specially designed to help you silence the broken record in your head fast, this kind of brain-rewiring work will efficiently break through the noise, resistance and old stories stopping you from setting the boundaries that will lead to better relationships, healthier habits, creative jetfuel, and more peace as you do the work you’re meant to be doing. Check out all the details here.
9. Precision Mistakes
A short potent snippet on the paradox of making “mistakes” by Richard Rudd.
10. Better sleep leads to better boundaries.
My friend Moni Rainbow Hawk is offering Winter Sleep & Dream, 31 days to dream in the new year. Full of herbal magic, community dream-tending and plenty of good rest. Begins January 1st.
May these tidings serve to protect the sacred sanctuary that is your Self—mind, body, heart and spirit—so you can keep your heart open and be bold in your work, relationships and mission.
P.S. Blessings to you on this eve of what we call Thanksgiving.
I love this holiday for the gathering of loved ones around a table with no other expectation of capitalism or commerce.
I don't love this holiday for the obvious reasons that what was (is?) taught to American children regarding the colonizer's relationship with the native peoples of this continent is blasphemy.
May we continue to hold dear what nourishes us, while acknowledging that many Indigenous people observe the Thanksgiving holiday as a National Day of Mourning or a day of protest and remembrance that challenges the narrative of colonization and oppression.