The Choice Point.
What’s one decision from your past (recent or not) that you regret, or where you wish you had made a different choice?
Go ahead. Take a moment and pull up a memory.
Go back to the moment of the choice point—in other words, the crossroads at which you stood as you deliberated or made your decision.
What emotions were you feeling?
What was happening in your nervous system?
Were you being fully authentic or true to yourself?
What drove the decision—FOMO, people pleasing, shoulding, trying to fit in or prove yourself? Name what was fueling your choice.
I call this exercise “Awareness at the choice point.”
Obviously, we can’t go back and redo a decision. But even if we could, it’s helpful to remember that these moments are major lessons that help us grow… that is, if we’re paying attention and taking the time to reflect on what went awry!
The next step is to use this template to flesh out further this same situation.
Template:
- When I chose to…
- Because…
- Even though…
- Which resulted in…
Here’s an example of mine:
When I chose to send an email to a potential dream client
Because I was excited about the inspiration of working with them
Even though I hadn’t sat on it for 24+ hours or done sufficient proof-reading
Which resulted in an unfortunate typo that sent me into a MAJOR shame spiral
This is immediately clarifying. It helps me reflect on what I would do differently in the future, even in a similar moment of excitement and enthusiasm. Because of this horrifying moment that still feels cringy, I feel confident that I will never again send a hasty email to a potential dream client.
Now, bring to mind a choice you look back on and celebrate. Maybe even one that had your mind and your heart in opposition?
What did your mind say?
What did your heart, gut or intuition say?
How did you know it was the “right” choice to make?What signs or indicators were present that helped you choose?
This second part of building our awareness focuses on an example where our choice reflected our wise discernment and the wisdom of our body. I also find this clarifying, because it helps me build recognition for patterns of congruence in moments of making a decision.
Congruence with my intuition, integrity, authenticity and nervous system will always lead to a choice I celebrate instead of regret.
Let’s land this plane.
Here’s a Choice Point Checklist to help you slow down and ensure that any decision is in congruence with your highest self:
1. What is honestly driving this decision?
If the answer is fear, trying to prove, shoulds or fitting in, PAUSE.
2. How is my nervous system in this moment?
If you're dysregulated, PAUSE.
3. How would I navigate this choice in order to honor my wise elder self and make them proud?
You’re good at getting a lot done. Too good.
We hyperachievers need help remembering to pace ourselves, even in our busiest seasons. Grab my Overachievers Guide to a Peaceful Mind to settle your brain, sooth your nervous system and ground you, even when your calendar is packed.