Death and the art of tying up loose ends

Each month I begin my Love Letter transmissions with an “alchemical attunement”, aimed to inspire a shift in perspective. May we see all our challenges as GOLD, so that we can expand into our highest potential on the wings of gratitude for all that we’ve been through thus far.

These last majestic days of summer have me thinking about death.

I know. Stay with me. 

The other night, I saw the most epic sunset. Truly, it was one for the books, and considering I grew up on the Salish Sea facing the western Olympic mountain range, that is saying something. It was one of those sunsets where the rays shone across the sky like cosmic headlights, miraculously creating shadows cast by the surrounding clouds. You and I both know that photographs never do sunsets justice, even with an awesome camera… but because I know you’ll ask, here’s the best I could do:

Sunset.

The swan song of the day.

One last hit of unspeakable beauty before darkness falls.

May it be so for us in our final days and hours, whenever those come.

Today’s alchemy is about transmuting good completions into new beginnings.

Death is on my mind, because two weeks ago today, our neighbor Marty died. A friendly 59-year old quiet fellow, he was the one in our neighborhood closest to us in age and the person whom we related to most closely… a sensitive, artsy, weirdo hermit, with two adorable cats named Oofta and Pickles. We really liked him. He died suddenly one early morning of a stroke while getting ready for work. Without knowing yet what had happened, we watched the entire scene unfold in his driveway: the arrival of the fire trucks, then the sheriff, then the departure of the trucks, making way for the coroner. It’s been sad and sobering.

And yet there are some sparkling details, shimmering through the griefly dark. In the two weeks before he died:

a) he went to visit his father whom he had not seen or spoken to in 10 years

b) he completed a series of big paintings that his late wife had started but not finished before she died of cancer 3 years ago

c) he went on his first date since his wife died. Apparently, it went well, they were excited about each other, and had plans to see each other again.

What can we say about these timely completions, except that they are miraculous?

To know that he tied up these emotional-relational-creative loose ends before he departed somehow makes his story simultaneously more tragic, and also more uplifting.

May it be that we have the wherewithal and the courage to tidy up our loose ends as we go. 

And may it be that we have the wise discernment to prioritize the most important from the monsoon of creative and relational loose ends flying wildly about our lives… because goddess knows there’s no shortage of unfinished projects or longings!

The trick is not to finish everything.

The real mastery is to know which projects are deserving of our attention now.

Because the truth is we never know when our time will come to make our exit. 

Call me macabre. Call me a stoic. Or call me one who is working on making friends with Death. 

Either way, my aim today is to inspire some clear vision and wise discernment as we move into the next season— here in the northern hemisphere, that means saying goodbye to summer, and hello to Autumn. 

For me, Autumn is about making decisions, pruning the dead limbs, and turning our good completions into new beginnings. Just like I’m getting creative with the plethora of apples falling off my tree right now, what will we do with the abundance of summer’s harvest? How will we use that harvest to sustain ourselves as we move into autumn? 

This is the dance we get to do… through the seasons, through the cycles, we get to ritualize these days, use our time wisely, and then find peace with what we have and have not accomplished. 

Because at the end of the day, at the end of the season, at the end of the year and at the end of our lives, what are the things that really matter? How is it we want to use this “one wild and precious life”?

 
✨Alchemical Inquiry: journal prompts ✨

What decisions need to be made? How am I postponing my decision, and what do I need to come to a conclusion?

What summertime projects or goals will I prioritize completing?

List 3 reasons to look forward to this Autumn season— what kind of energy or archetype am I excited to step into this fall?

✨Alchemical Action: sup the last of summer's nectar ✨

Isn't it fascinating how some of us mourn the departure of summer, while others cannot wait to see it end? If you're in the grief camp, I see you and I feel you. I recommend intentionally weaving in some play, joy and pleasure in the following months to ensure that you continue to have something to be excited about. Maybe it's time to read an obsession-worthy fiction novel you can't put down (like this one I just devoured), plan a solo weekend getaway to work on a creative project, get in some late summer sunbathing, or set up a weekly phone date with a friend you adore but don't talk to enough. 

These simple action steps can help us stay buoyant and inspired, even as the days begin to grow shorter and darker.

Beloved, I envision you and I both moving into the upcoming season with hope in our hearts, and clarity in our third eye. 

Your legacy is inevitable. Don't stress. Relax, and tune into the wisdom of your body. Ask your intuition for guidance. Then make moves, one baby step at a time.

And, if you'd like some more inspiring content on death, check out this TED talk by Alua Arthur called "Why thinking about death helps you live a better life."

In your corner,

PS. Have some projects you KNOW you want to complete this year, but are nervous about your ability to actually FINISH on your own?

Hit reply and let me know!

I'm thinking about offering a live creative incubator later this fall, and I'd love to get a sense of whether being part of an online collective to get your project DONE is appealing to you?

If so, give a hollar and let a sister know by replying to this email 😘  

PPS. Also, happy new moon in Virgo 🌚

Here's a good article on the "practical magic" of this September new moon, and another fun read on what to do and not do on a new moon.