No, you don’t need to “hold” it all

Welcome to September, dear one, and your monthly alchemical attunement.

This is a process of...

✨ Using our own wisdom and evolution as a tuning fork, bringing us into vibration with our highest Self.

✨ Bridging the mystic and the mundane, the esoteric and the practical, spirit and matter, joy and grief.

✨ Transmuting our "base materials" into gold... turning pain into power, wounds into wisdom, and grief into grace. 

Today’s Alchemical Attunement is devoted to transmuting self-imposed saviorism and choosing to shift away from so much heavy lifting. 

 
Several months back, a dear friend shared with me that she was backing away from the phrase “I am holding” and seeking other ways to construct her words that did not connote a labor akin to the mythological Atlas, who holds the entire world on his shoulders. 

What a great way to break your body and crush your soul. 

 
We use the word “hold” in the ecosystem of our wider culture and within the subculture of conscious leadership. 

Examples include: I'm holding the question of... I'll hold this with you... I'm holding grief about... I'm holding space for... I'm holding tension... 

What exactly are we holding, anyway?

How long have we been holding it?

How are we holding it?

 
At what point do we give ourselves permission to put it down, sit down next to it, dance with it, simply observe it, or perhaps even walk away from it?

 
There is certainly a time and a place for holding. We humans have hands, arms, opposable thumbs and working digits for a reason. 

 
“Holding space” is a beautiful form of service, yet let us not doubt for one moment that it is labor. Even a hand lightly holding another hand becomes somewhat taxing after a while. It’s important to let our hands and arms rest, to fully relax all the muscles, joints, ligaments and tendons in repose and restoration. 

 
Is this not an applicable metaphor for our entire energetic being? 

 
It is an absolute privilege and honor to hold space for people. I do it for a living. It is my life‘s work. I am a student of The Gene Keys, which is inspired most deeply by the ancient divination system of the Chinese I-Ching. According to my ‘hologenetic profile’ in The Gene Keys, my life path is that of guidance. Holding space is not only my livelihood, it is my soul’s purpose, bringing deep joy to my heart and meaning to my life.

 
And, when am I giving myself permission to not hold space? 

 
This is a question every leader, facilitator, space holder, social worker, therapist, body worker and service provider must ask. 

 
When am I simply receiving?

 Do I give myself permission to put what is in my hands, literally or metaphorically, down? 

 
This is very real alchemy. 

 
In truth, these days I don’t give myself nearly enough opportunity to simply receive, or be in truly co-creative spaces where no one is looking to me for leadership. 

 
At this realization, it feels pertinent to ask myself: 

 
Who are my teachers? Who am I learning from right now?

 Who are my peers? Who can hold me and us as a collective, rather than repeating patterns of centralized power?

 
If I’ve arrived at a place where everyone around me is a student or client or in some shape or form looking to me for leadership, perhaps it’s time to call in a new teacher, new allies, a new circle of care, a new support team.

 
These are simply my own reflections. If you are a space holder, I’m curious how this invitation to shift your language lands, and what other descriptions might be more liberating.

 
This year I’ve learned a lot about boundaries, complex relationships, and navigating dysregulation, both in others and in myself. As a result of all that holding, my cervical spine has been out of whack since January. It is not lost on me that this stubbornness of my vertebrae to stay properly aligned is a clear indicator that I have been holding way too much on my shoulders— literally. 

 
I cannot hold it all. And, I don’t need to!

 
I’m not a hero, I’m not a savior, I’m not a shaman, I’m not a healer. I’m an infinite ineffable soul in a finite human body who has limitations to my energy, and who must implement healthy boundaries to thrive.

 
Even the beautiful phrase that I continue to quote from my dear friend and mentor Laurence Cole, “we will hold this, together”, is worth observing. 

 
Yes. When required, we will “hold it, together.” It’s required rather often, and we will rise to the task when we are called.

 
Simultaneously….

 
Can we also play with gently, delicately, lovingly placing some of our burdens back on the earth, from whence they came? Can we circle around, holding our hands out and beaming loving presence from our hearts, without actually picking up, holding, and taking it on as weight we are committed and resigned to carry for an indefinite amount of time? 

 
Can we let ourselves be held as much as we are holding for others?

 
Let’s put this into action and make some magic.

✨ 3 Alchemical Prompts ✨

1. What am I “holding” right now that I give myself permission to put down?

2. Who is “holding” me? How am I creating opportunities to be held by others?

3. Who are my current teachers, soul allies and peers? Who am I learning from and co-creating with right now?

✨ Alchemical Mantra ✨

I don’t need to hold it all — instead, I choose to dance with the energies around me and use wise discernment in what I choose to carry. 

✨ Awakened Action ✨ 

Here’s a simple, connective umbilical cord connection practice to allow yourself to be HELD:

Find an inviting patch of green grass. 

Lie down facing the earth, if possible with your belly button exposed and connected directly to the ground. 

Breathe deeply. 

Offer your prayers and your burdens back to the Mother. 

Ask for help. 

Let yourself feel deeply, divinely supported. 

Rest as long as feels nourishing.

A final note: 

I use the phrase “Word Purge” in my coaching and mentorship work, and in my own personal development— a process of intentionally purging specific words and phrases from my vocabulary that I feel no longer serve me, and that actually steer me down paths I do not wish to travel. Examples include “just”, “should”, and “make it work”, among others. I do not consider “holding” a Word Purge. It is clearly both necessary and a blessed privilege of being human, of being a facilitator, and of being a space holder. 

 
Rather, I see this as an invitation deeper into wise discernment.

 
I choose to pause and quietly observe my own usage of this language choice, and I’m intrigued to see what results.

 
If you care to experiment with me, I’m all ears and only an email away! I’ll love to hear your thoughts and be with whatever arises.

Dancing with paradox and mystery,

Britta