The leap from “solo” to “supported”
Each month I begin my Love Letter transmissions with an “alchemical attunement”, aimed to inspire a shift in perspective. May we see all our challenges as GOLD, so that we can expand into our highest potential on the wings of gratitude for all that we’ve been through thus far.
Today’s alchemical attunement is about dissolving the illusion of going it alone and embracing the reality of feeling divinely supported.
I’ve chewed a lot over the years on the myth of the solopreneur— those business owners and creators who claim to go it alone in their work and be the sole reason for whatever success they achieve. What I know for sure is that no one does it alone.
What I also know is that the myth of going it alone speaks to a deep sense of loneliness many of us feel. This loneliness can stem from many places… perhaps you don’t feel understood or really seen in your gifts. Perhaps you have a core wound around feeling like all the weight and responsibility rests on your shoulders and it's all up to you.
“If you want something done, you’ve gotta do it yourself!”
There’s a shadow spoken aloud.
But we aren’t lone wolves, Kate. In fact, we know biologically speaking that the lone wolf is most at risk, and will most likely have the shortest life span. Without a pack, we are vulnerable— not in the share your soul kind of way, but in the belly exposed to dangerous forces kind of way. And to clarify, giving up the lone wolf veneer doesn’t mean you don’t need alone time and solitude. Clearly, we all need blessed solitude in an array of doses depending on our unique design to thrive. There’s a big difference between solitude and loneliness.
Last year I did a lot of chewing on my own core wound around loneliness. (You can listen to the podcast episode all about that here if you like.) And in the midst of that period, I had a wonderfully helpful call with my friend Alexis, a Theta healer. As I complained about feeling alone and that “it” was all up to me, she chortled and said with a merry amusement, “Britta, you aren’t “doing” any of this! And in fact, you couldn’t do it alone if you wanted to!”
To which I laughed, and could do nothing but agree wholeheartedly. It was a humbling and illuminating pivot.
So let’s talk about this alchemical 3-part process. Our work here is to:
a) recognize we aren’t actually doing any of this.
b) embrace the truth that we never do anything alone, because we are innately interdependent beings.
c) give up the lone wolf facade, ask for help, and then get really good at receiving it.
Let's get into it.
A) You aren’t doing any of this.
If you are a spirit-led holy earth walker, which you are if you’re here reading this love letter, then you already know beyond all doubt that spirit is leading the way. Spirit is animating you with life-force energy. Spirit is breathing you, right now. If you are a spirit-led human like I am, then you know with complete certainty that you are not in control. And thank goodness for that! The problem is, you forgot. We forget. And in our moments or eras of forgetting, we mistakenly believe that we are in the driver's seat, that it’s all up to us, that we must take control of our lives or else we fear that we’ll careen off the path and end up bloodied in a ditch. But in truth, all you need to do is remember that you are not doing any of this. This is not even “your” life! This is simply life, living through you, as you. You are experiencing life, and your life experience gets way more easy, fun, synchronistic, and frankly magical, the moment you remember and invite Spirit to lead the way.
b) You never do anything alone, because you are an innately interdependent being.
Over the last 4 years or so, the term “ecosystem” has become one of my favorite words to use, especially in my business. The ecosystem is so obvious when I'm outside in the garden, or when I’m assessing some illness or dis-ease in my body… but for some odd reason (hmmm, supremacist patriarchal capitalism, maybe?), it’s been much harder to train myself to also see my life’s work and my vocation as an ecosystem. When I embrace my business, my leadership, and every area of my life as part of an ecosystem, something in my nervous system relaxes. I remember that I’m not a machine, but an organic interbeing on planet Earth who requires love and belonging every step of the way if I want to thrive. Which is why “solopreneur” as a word and hashtag makes me queasy. It’s laughable that I can create anything of value on my own, because my body of work is itself a garden of leaves, blossoms, roots, mycelia, aromas, textures, colors and molecules brought by the breeze that all miraculously arrived from the great void of mystery and, of course, my community and muses. So no, I don’t ever do anything alone, because I am standing on the shoulders of a love army who have carried me across legions and lifetimes to get here.
c) Give up the lone wolf facade, ask for help, and get good at receiving it.
Once we decide and devote ourselves to dismantling the lone-wolf mindset, now comes the fun part of honing our asking and receiving skills. And yes, I do believe these are skill sets that require strengthening. Some folks will be more practiced at asking for and receiving help, and others will be quite uncomfortable in this zone. First, I want to clarify that asking for assistance is broader than you might think. I’m not only talking about assistance from fellow humans, but also from the spirit realm, the deity realm, and the ancestors. There are many ways to ask for help. You can journal, make offerings to the earth, create an altar, chant traditional mantras, speak affirming incantations, or create a ritual. And of course, you can make a phone call, write an email, send a text message, or share a post on social media. It's deceptively easy, asking for help. But remember that you are part of an ecosystem. I like to imagine that whenever I ask for help on any level, the spiritual laws will ensure that I will in turn be asked for help and support before long, so I need not worry about a lack of reciprocity. And how to get good at receiving it? By saying yes! Thank you very much. I receive that. I will accept your help with a grateful heart. And then when the time comes, I will pass it on.
Here are three awakened action steps you might take to alchemize your loneliness into solidarity, and your lack into abundance.
Alchemical Actions
Name your Circle of Care.
I learned about the concept of “circle of care” from Lama Rod Owens. I love this exercise, and in fact it is one of the first things I do with new clients when we begin our work together. The process is simple— name your circle of care, which consists of the humans, animals, spirits, characters, deities or any energies that you consider to be life-giving benevolent allies to you on your life journey at this time. Don’t just think about them, actually write them down on a piece of paper. Keep the list visible in your home or office.
Bonus: Reach out to someone in your circle of care today– maybe you’ll ask for something you need, or maybe you’ll simply let them know how much support you feel from their pure existence on the planet, and offer gratitude.
Create an ancestor ritual.
There are many ways to go about this. You can gather photographs and make an altar. Or to simplify, you can simply gather a clean bowl of water as an offering and centerpiece. Before you begin, bathe yourself. Show up not only clean, but prepare yourself as if you’re about to meet with some honored guests, because you are. Sit in front of your bowl of water, come into stillness, and then in silence or out loud, call forth your benevolent ancestors. Know these are not limited to your blood relatives, but anyone who has passed whom you consider a good ancestor. Offer them your loving gratitude. Then ask them for help. Ask them any questions nagging at you. Tell them what you need. Then pause, and listen. Open your heart and your mind. Receive whatever comes. Pay attention to the most subtle hints or whispers. Notice, and take note. Journal whatever comes through. Once you are complete, thank your good ancestors for showing up and supporting you. Thank the water for witnessing and facilitating this ceremony. Then offer the water to the earth and close the container.
Chant a mantra.
One of the best ways to access the Deity realm is through mantra and chanting. In my recent immersion with a Tantric Buddhist teacher, she spoke of the deity realm often and in ways that really helped me to understand that the deity realm is not actually limited to the physical human-like deities we know and love, but includes unseen, unnamed, elemental forces. That said, I find again and again that whenever I ask the deity realm for support, I am awed and amazed by the swift aid that comes to me in some shape or form. If you’re familiar with or drawn to specific deities already, you might search online for mantras that invoke them. If you’re not too familiar, you might search online for deities that help with (fill in the blank, i.e. prosperity, obstacles, fear, etc), and go from there. Or, you might tune into an element or frequency, and sit quietly while listening for what that mantra or chant might sound like, letting it channel through you. Chanting a mantra is a beautifully effective way to evoke a higher state of being while focusing your mental activity on a singular point of attention. Plus, it activates your throat chakra, which is crucial in the manifestation process! A win-win-win.
Alchemical Affirmation
“I am divinely supported.”
(h/t to my sister Katerina for that one!)
Beloved Kate, do you struggle with loneliness, or the solopreneur syndrome?
Where could you use more help right now?
Please hit reply and let me know how this alchemical transmission lands for you.
I’m only an email away, and I’ll love to hear from you.
In your corner,
Ps.
Did you know I created an entire body of work all about mantras?
It’s called Mantra Magic, the heart of which is 7 original arrangements and recordings of traditional mantras that have been powerful tools of healing and transformation in my own life.
And because I want everyone to access this magic, there’s 3 ways you can experience it:
Listen to the album for free on Spotify.
Support me as an artist by purchasing the album on Bandcamp.
Buy the Mantra Magic course, which will give you everything you need to know and chant these mantras yourself. Learn the words and translations, some cosmology or mythological backstory for each one, proper pronunciation, and more. The course comes with a fully loaded guidebook to not only start chanting, but to create a one-week devotional practice using them to uplevel your life. And of course, you’ll be able to download each of the mantras for your listening and chanting pleasure. Btw: it’s only $55.
Do yourself a favor and go check out Mantra Magic today in one of its variations.
What magic might unfurl in your life?
Only one way to find out…